Rudy Giuliani, president of 9/11
Published by Fred Soto• May 17th, 2007
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The Onion: President of 9/11 Rudy Giuliani
NEW YORK At a well-attended rally in front of his new Ground Zero headquarters Monday, former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani officially announced his plan to run for president of 9/11.
“My fellow citizens of 9/11, today I will make you a promise,” said Giuliani during his 18-minute announcement speech in front of a charred and torn American flag. “As president of 9/11, I will usher in a bold new 9/11 for all.”
If elected, Giuliani would inherit the duties of current 9/11 President George W. Bush, including making grim facial expressions, seeing the world’s conflicts in terms of good and evil, and carrying a bullhorn at all state functions.
Fred Soto is an Attorney and Entrepreneur from the Silicon Valley.
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