7 Reasons John McCain Hates April Fool’s Day

April 1st has to be the most annoying day of the year.   I’m only 31, but I feel as bitter and angry as John McCain does every time he hears of the rampant age discrimination going on in politics.  Instead of going along with the pranks that you’ll find all over the internet like eggs on Easter Sunday,  I think I’ll do something different this year.

Top Ten Reasons John McCain Hates April Fool’s Day

1. John McCain is 71 years old and has seen and heard them all, he was no doubt alive when the first April Fool’s day prank was invented.
2. Some jerk somewhere is concocting a humorous post about how racism hurts Barack Obama, sexism Hillary Clinton, and joking about John McCain is elder abuse.

   

3. He remembers when April Fool’s day was referred to as “All Fool’s Day” and resents the whipper snappers that changed the name over the years
4. McCain is still fuming over the first prank that really got him, Smell-o-vision in 1965.  It was his last American memory before he was shipped off to Vietnam.

   

5. Some schmuck at the LA Times is publishing sham articles about rigged elections and how it’s the only way he can win the election.  Worst April Fool’s Joke ever.
6. John McCain dreads the “John McCain leaves his wife for Vicki Iseman” pranks, especially because the picture they’ll use makes him look fat.

   

7. Even worse, the possibility of “John McCain leaves his wife for George W Bush” headlines!

   

    

On a positive note, John McCain will pick up many new voters from the elderly who are irritated with the young know-it-all punks that fooled them dozens of times because Alzheimer’s is kicking in and they can’t remember what day of the year it is!

 If you haven’t yet done so, please subscribe to the White House Intel Report.  We promise to disappoint you less than the competition, have a great day!

Fred Soto is an Attorney and Entrepreneur from the Silicon Valley.
Email this author | All posts by Fred Soto