Diagnosis: BDS or Bush Disease?

In our strongly divided nation, one thing is certain, either you’ve acquired BDS - Bush Derangement Syndrome(tm) or you have a rare disease that makes you immune to BDS – Bush Disease. If the latter is the case, then you’re likely ready to go down with Bush’s ship at all costs and may not like what you’re about to read.

If you are unfamiliar with “Bush Derangement Syndrome“ you haven’t been listening to Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh enough, God bless your heart. I am sure there is a nice label — like sane — that we can give you for avoiding trash media.

For now, let’s focus on the BDS epidemic that has infected our nation

BDS is real, I am living proof that BDS exists! If you don’t believe me, I am sure we can find a psychiatrist that will gladly stand behind the BDS diagnosis.

If you are worried that you might be at risk for BDS, here are some symptoms:

1. You hear about the Katrina catastrophe and hate President Bush for not doing more to help the victims.
2. You associate the Katrina response with Bush’s hate for poor people and black people, after all he would have been much quicker to serve the people of Texas or Oklahoma if they had a tragedy strike them.
3. You believe that President Bush is a war-monger and exploits the troops for political gain and to carry out his political agenda.
4. You believe President Bush is a fear-monger and encourages his administration to use terrorism to scare Americans into submission.
5. You also might feel that you have nothing in common with the President because he represents everything that you hate about America. (Corruption, Greed, Hate, Violence, Polarization, Stupidity)
6. You also get angry when you think of Bush’s relationship to Alberto Gonzales, Karl Rove, the U.S. attorney firing scandal, Swiftboating, Torture, Illegal Wars, the trillions spent on Iraq, the lives of soldiers taken on the battle field

If you meet any of the above criteria, chances are you also suffer from BDS
If you don’t believe this is real, ask Ann Coulter!

Political columnists and radio talk hosts haven’t given a name to people who have their lips glued firmly to President Bush’s buttocks. I have a theory about this, I suspect they suffer from a rare disease that makes them immune to BDS, I like to call it “Bush disease,” there is no cure.

Understanding Bush Disease

This affliction is much more rare than BDS. While Bush Derangement Syndrome is a relatively new development in modern psychiatry, the early forms of the Bush Disease started up in the 90s when President George H. W. Bush was himself being an idiot atop the presidential perch.

There are skeptics that don’t agree with the science behind the above diagnosis and these “experts” argue that psychology is a sham supported by the “elite.” (e.g. mostly liberal hippies). However, if you are one of the remaining 25% of Americans that believe President Bush is worthy of his “leader of the free world” title, you are probably adhering to some misguided notion that loyalty and nationalism should triumph above all else, including your nation’s future. I’d recommend you seek help immediately, because while there is no cure for this sort of idiocy, medication might help you rejoin the reality of this world that we live in.

Fred Soto is an Attorney and Entrepreneur from the Silicon Valley.
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